Today call me Bo-curious.
Today call me Bo-curious. As in Botox: The final frontier. All the cool eight-year-olds are injecting these days; is it time to channel my inner-Judy Garland and sing, “Why oh why can’t I?” Here’s...
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Today call me Brazilian; or at least I want to be. And I’m not referring to a change in nationality or even a visit to South America. I’m talking about the possibility of a total below-the-border...
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Today call me changed.
Today call me changed. Fourteen years ago today, to be exact. That’s the day you took apart the whole of me to be pieced back together in a puzzle I hope will never be completed. You were my life’s...
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Today call me complete.
Today call me complete; the best of all the words that filled me at your birth. A nurse slipped you into my arms (four pounds, fourteen ounces of sticky skin and soft bone; wrinkled legs stiffening in...
View ArticleToday call me inked.
Today call me inked. Or at least I will be soon; but I may require your help before it’s official. You might recall I’ve been exploring various ways to commemorate the Joys of Summer, first with Botox...
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Today call me racy
Today call me racy because oh boy, am I ever! (As long as you don’t confuse the word racy with sexy. Anyone who says “Oh boy!” is permanently banned from that club. So I’ve heard.) No, I’m talking...
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Today call me feathered
Today call me feathered. I have been since last Saturday when, at the Relay for Life in Camarillo, California, I purchased a feathery purple boa with a stanza from an Emily Dickinson poem attached at...
View ArticleToday call me a mother.
Today call me a mother; which means of course I’ve embraced the joys and uncertainties, the fear and faith that attends the title. Motherhood is a gift beyond words, a challenge that bears a name but...
View ArticleToday call me laid
Today call me laid but I’m referring to grammar; more specifically to the infinitives to lie and to lay. So if your Google search brought you here for something sexier, you’re in luck. There’s nothing...
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My Favorite Post
Would you believe me if I said that I actually gave quite a bit of thought to my 100th post? (I know. Such an overachiever. 100 posts in less than two years! How does she do it?) Unfortunately, I...
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For My Grandparents on Their 76th Wedding Anniversary
As of today, June 27th, 2018, my grandparents have been married for 76 years. 76. YEARS. While that number sinks in, I’ll share a story about the day the two of them met. He introduced himself as Andy...
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For My Daughter On Her Birthday
On July 14th, 1999, you made me complete. A nurse slipped you into my arms (all four pounds, fourteen ounces of sticky skin and soft bone), and I looked down at your tiny face and knew you for my own....
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Spontaneity Revisited (Like Brideshead, except with spontaneity. And also not...
You know the old saying If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it? (I think it’s Lucille Ball’s wisdom—and I totally love her—but please.) Don’t ask me to do your something. Not that I’m...
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A Christmas Poem (back by popular-ish demand)
‘Twas two weeks before Christmas, 2018, And every Gardner was here on the scene. Karly and Jack had both flown home from college, With luggage and laundry and (probably) knowledge! Karly’s picked...
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The Heavy Bag
My sister Nancy tells the story about a time when her boys were under two years old and, as mothers of young children often do to keep from going insane, she visited a friend. Besides her two sons,...
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The 100-Year Story
These past few months have been pretty crazy around here. Some high-highs and some low-lows. Milestones and heartbreak. (I’m not gonna lie. There’s still a lump in my throat and I get teary-eyed...
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Kindness First
I work at the public library. More specifically, I’m a monitor for two branches in the city of Thousand Oaks. I consider this work, like my previous career as a public school teacher, to be a...
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Please Excuse the Typo
It’s possible that, as a writer, I’ve spent the past twelve years obsessed with typos. In posts. In tweets. In manuscripts. It’s also possible that, as a human, I’ve spent my entire life avoiding...
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What Do You WANT to Believe About Yourself?
Some things about me are facts: I’m 5’ 6” and I have blue eyes. I stopped coloring my hair five-ish years ago, so I’ve got some grays. I’m married with two kids and three dogs. We all live in Thousand...
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Room on the Boat
One year ago we brought this puppy home. Her mother—a stray Lab —had birthed her babies on the side of a freeway and hidden them in nearby bushes. After they were rescued and settled in a foster home,...
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